Humor
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine." Proverbs 17:22
Three churches in one town were having problems with an abundance of squirrels. The first church called a special business meeting and after much prayer and discussion decided that the squirrels were predestined to be there, so they would just learn to live with them. The second church decided to capture the squirrels in a humane way and release them outside the city limits. But they came back. The third church brought the squirrels into the church, baptized them and put them on the membership roll. Now they only see the squirrels at homecoming and Easter.
A little boy asked his father for a puppy. His father asked him if he would rather have a baby brother or a baby sister instead of a puppy. He decided that a baby brother would be ok. His dad told him to pray real hard and maybe God would send him a baby brother or baby sister. After 2 weeks it was apparent that God didn't hear him so he quit praying. However about 2 months later his mother went into the hospital. When dad took him up there to see his mother he had 2 baby brothers. His dad asked him if he wasn't glad that he prayed for a baby brother. His reply was, "Yeah dad. But aren't you glad I stopped praying when I did?"
A pirate and a seaman were exchanging tales about the high sea. The seaman noticed that the pirate had a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand, and a patch over his eye. Asked how he lost his leg the pirate explained "Me fell overboard and a shark bit me leg off." "Ouch!!!"said the seaman. Asked about how he lost his hand he explained "As me climbed aboard an enemy ship one of it's crewmen cut me hand clean off." "Oh my" said the seaman. When asked about how he lost his eye he explained that he got seagull droppings in his eye. The seaman looked puzzled. The pirate said, "You don't understand mate, it was me first day to wear me hook."
A wife came home from shopping with a new dress. She asked her husband how he liked it. He asked her how much it cost. She asked him if he liked the color. He asked her how much? She asked if he thought it fit her well. He asked her, "HOW MUCH DID IT COST?" "It was only $200." "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! You know we can't afford that. You have to take it back." I can't it was on sale." Honey, why on earth did you spend that much money?" "The devil made me do it." "The devil made you do it?" "Yes" "You should have followed the example of our Lord and said "Get thee behind me Satan!'". She said, " I did. And then he said "You know that dress looks good on you from back here too. You really should go ahead and buy it.'"